My circumstances are quite frustrating. I had no idea I would be slammed into menopause from two different angles. One would think age 42 is a tad bit young for all this right? Guess again. 

‘O‘, Are we suppose to take a  ‘Pause from Men’ ? Some Dry humor.. Not Funny.

Menopause is mean. It doesn’t care about your sex life or your marriage. Once it arrives, it makes its presence known. It’s controlling and can become a home wrecker if you aren’t careful. Why is it such a secretive subject? I’m Talking & I’m Telling It! 

As a breast cancer survivor, my chemotherapy treatment chemically forced me into menopause. It began causing a lot of problems in my life which worsened as time went on. I wanted to believe it would all clear up on its own. That’s what the doctor told me. Lies on top of lies. 

As if having a period my entire teenage and adult years wasn’t bad enough, here comes the Strange Change. The ‘Change of Life’ is what they call it huh? Well, it most definitely changed my life but certainly not for the better. I can’t be the only one! 

Unable to have estrogen in my body caused me weight gain, fatigue, constant overheating, sweating to no end and let’s not talk about my emotional state. One minute I was happy, the next second I was sad and at times I didn’t know what I was feeling. Should I laugh? Should I cry? Am I going crazy? Probably so, maybe not. I don’t know! 

You talk about some hormones being out of whack. This chemically forced menopause had my libido hanging on by a thread. It was like a car’s gas light flashing on without any darn gas money… you knew what to expect next… the shutdown. Help! Fix it! Switch out my spark plugs! Add Oil! Lol 

Through all of these changes, my husband never left my side. He’s been my number one support system. Bless his heart. There were times when he didn’t know which Maria would greet him in the morning or wish him goodnight, yet he loved “all of us.”

The Good. The Bad. The Ugly. The Sweaty. The Confused. His love is unconditional. 

Being together for over 18 years, we have always had an amazing sex life. Explosive fireworks and shooting stars were guaranteed to appear! Because of menopause, it’s difficult for ME to even see a flicker of light in our bedroom. I’m not giving up! We’re not giving up! 

My second encounter with menopause showed up seven months ago when I underwent surgery. I had a total abdominal hysterectomy. It was like Spring Cleaning in September…Everything was removed and thrown out. Oh Nooo! I can’t go shop for new reproductive parts to replace the old ones. 

O Estrogen, Estrogen, Wherefore Art Thou Estrogen? It’s Gone Y’all! Any remaining hormones hanging around have officially left the building. 

My libido’s gas light is shining bright… My body has cut off and stopped. It’s on “E” but I refuse to accept this as our fate. This car will start up again! The engine hasn’t blown out completely. It ain’t over! 

Some women claim that this particular phase of life provides the best sexual encounters ever. I beg to differ! They probably didn’t go through ‘estrogen-fueled’ breast cancer either. 

Lack of hormones causes genital tissue to lose its structure and function, resulting in unpredictable pain during sex. But since I never know when it will strike, it’s difficult to be sexually turned on while anticipating that type of excruciating pain. Realistically speaking, that’s almost impossible to do. 

 Sex? Who me? You say you wanna do what now? Umm I’m sorry. No thank you. 

Setting the record straight, since I have been going through all of these changes with menopause for over 3 years, our marriage is still top priority. It’s a must that I take care of my husband’s needs. I made vows to do this for life. Even if I have to get creative… He has no complaints. Nada. (insert applause here) 

How can anyone empathize or be supportive of what they don’t understand? You can’t just assume your husband knows what you’re going through. Talk about it! I’m so connected to my husband…he can alert me when I’m about to get a hot flash. Lol

Your other half has to be present to be attentive. 

Some women go through ‘The Change of Life’ without a single symptom. Had that been me, I wouldn’t have these messages to deliver:

Continue to fight for your new sense of normalcy.

Keep your line of communication open.

Do Not neglect your spouse’s needs just because you’re going through menopause. 

Oh and Lastly, 

Please Don’t allow ‘The Change’ to change your marriage!