Does love hurt? Should it? How could it? I don’t think I want that type of love. Well, too bad. That’s what I HAD… The painful kind. Ouch!
Do you remember your first tattoo or the meaning behind it? What does ‘tattoo number two’ say? Oh! I already know if you have one, it’s another tat hiding in a sacred crevice. Twenty tattoos later, I’m here to tell you it was an awful addiction for me.
What the hell was I thinking? I Wasn’t!
Let’s take it back to the early 90’s. Barely 20, I had just moved out on my own. I wanted to be independent but I really wanted to be with the boy I loved. I was nowhere near independent. I was living with a grown roommate. She contributed to my spoiled ways.
I don’t recall ever paying bills but I know I spent my money on him. I even remember when I went and got my very first tattoo on my left breast. It was my boyfriend’s nickname. I was in lustful love y’all.
We had nothing of substance to offer each other. We spent the majority of our time together naked. You know it was childish because we had to cue slow jams on cassette tapes and turn all the lights off. Lol Silly Sex.
Was this love? You sure couldn’t tell me it wasn’t!
Since my first permanent tattoo was connected to him, I felt like this was it! I had convinced myself, “He’s gonna be with me for dear life!” How foolish could I have been?
In a matter of 12 months, there I was getting tattoo number two:
LOVE HURTS with an image of a dagger going through my skin. I chose to put it on my left butt cheek. What was so monumental about the left butt cheek is beyond me. All I know is love was hurting me real bad, over and over. Repeatedly, I allowed it. Make it Stop!
Do I really have to catch him with another girl AGAIN? It became repetitious. Too many times to count. The confrontations… me asking who the chic was and her asking who I am, as he sat there looking stupid right along with us every single time.
Often, he would go out to night clubs with his boys but somehow come up missing. Ugh. I found myself making my usual round of late night clown-calls. Here we go with the bull-crap…
His friends would get tangled in their webs of lies as they tried their best to save him. They should have attended more rehearsals and taken better notes to keep their stories consistent. They sucked big time but I always got the answers I needed.
Still, I stayed. Why?
This game was losing its pieces and the board was ripped in half. You Won and I Quit! I’m tired of playing! May as well just throw it all in the trash! Time wasted!
Ironically, his second tattoo read ‘Maria’. It was also in a private place which required nudity to be seen but it seemed to be on public display, according to all the females that told me they saw it. How crazy was that?
We were involved in a toxic relationship for several years but I slowly began to mentally check-out. Once a woman places her mind some place else, her body will follow. He learned this the hard way soon thereafter.
‘Love Hurts’ is an untrue expression. I’m glad it’s hidden on my butt cause I surely made an ass of myself when I chose tattoo number two. Smh.
Cussing, throwing objects, using mini vans as weapons, crying from hurt, cheating, telling lies, causing sadness, creating arguments and breaking hearts has absolutely nothing to do with loving someone. Nothing at all.
Why couldn’t I see this? Why did I allow this circus of chaos for years? For the sake of ‘cassette cueing’ sex? Are you kidding me?
Some people just aren’t cut out to be in a serious relationship… So out of respect for the person who desires true love, a ‘game player’ should learn to be honest upfront. This will prevent feelings from ever growing beyond that friendship level. Just a wishful thought for my single folks.
Times have truly changed. Nowadays people don’t think rationally when they are afflicted with pain. Complete Devastation is the cause of clouded judgement.
Can you imagine the reaction of someone in love catching their mate cheating in 2017? I can assure you, tattoo number two will not read ‘Love Hurts’… Oh No! It might be a prison ID number tatted instead.
A revengeful, broken-hearted person is coming after you to either severely hurt you or possibly gun you down. We have all witnessed this on television or throughout social media. It’s Awful.
I’m grateful to have a husband who has proven to me for almost 19 years now that my tattoo number two is a lie. Love Does NOT Hurt. If you’re involved with someone who constantly creates chaos in your life, Move On!
This very second in time and the past are one in the same. It came, it went and you can never get it back. Although you can never change it, forgiveness will free you from it.
Be careful! Do not intentionally inflict pain on a person with a loving heart. It could come back to bite you in the butt.
